The Hunger of the Soul
Thought Cookie: Edition 21: Vol. 3
Thought Cookie: Edition 20: Vol. 3
I am lifted
released from gravity
without effort
rising.
In sky of warmth
embrace of motherlove
willing to open
completely.
The soul cannot
be fed unless
we recognize
its hunger.
I love you,
Emily
789 Words of This and That
As often as I can rouse my aging body and venture out into the earliest morning, I rise before the sun and take a long walk with my polar bear-like dog, Archibald Styles.
My heart’s aim is to be setting foot to pavement before the sun has risen.
I like to go early enough that it seems everyone is still asleep. If I were dropped in this very moment from another world, I might think it was dead of night instead of nearly morning.
There’s a magic there where the fold of the night has not yet been smoothed back to reveal the light of day.
(Many days I also want to lie in my warm bed and sleep through this moment too.)
When I am in these pre-dawn moments, moving, breathing, gathering myself, I can actually feel the hunger in my soul.
I’m learning how important it is to recognize this sensation.
Soul hunger.
Soul hunger is a good sensation to recognize, methinks.
It is an uneasy sensation, a craving to be fed at the level of spirit.
It cannot be recognized in the busyness of the rest of my day.
It cannot be recognized in the midst of the many distractions coming from the thing in the palm of my hand.
It cannot be held and tended to in the panicky push to get the things done.
And it’s important to feel it, to pause for one minute, or two, and say,
“Oh, I am hungry.”
Without recognizing the hunger of our souls, we will never nourish ourselves like we need to.
And if we never nourish our souls like we need to, we will be malnourished, unable to be present, let alone thrive.
I have found soul hunger to be satiated, for me, by a long, unhurried, spirited, real conversation with another human whom I have a soul connection with.
I have found it filled by poetry – writing it, reading it, aloud and to myself.
I have found it to be appeased by sitting outside and noticing as much as I can.
I have found it to be soothed by music, whether I am singing so loud my throat is strained or weeping as the lyrics ripple through me.
I have found it to be staved off by a hike in nature or a long walk with someone I love deeply.
I have given it the snack of really seeing and loving the sweet cheek of my daughter – or by recognizing any one person’s particular beauty and admiring that.
I have experienced it waning as I wander through a bookstore or a library and let myself explore all the precious ideas and priceless narratives tucked into the shelves.
Like bodily hunger, soul hunger does return regularly, which was a shock to me once I realized it.
How often do I have to feed this thing, jeez?
Daily.
But.
It can be fed in seconds, a minute or two.
And it drinks conscious breath.
What’s beyond…
Left unattended, soul hunger can lead to a deeper wound – to soul loneliness.
Despondency. Violence of the heart, of the action.
The feeling of numbness, isolation and deep longing for the comfort that only comes from one’s soul, one’s own inner knowing.
There’s so much of this in the world right now.
The danger is not that it exists.
It is that we do not acknowledge that it exists.
If we acknowledge it exists, we can address it.
The greatest danger is that it exists unidentified in so many isolated souls who come to believe they are crazy or broken because they feel this way and cannot name it to friend or family. And still, they long for this part of themselves to be seen.
Which is the real malady creating so much suffering these days.
Does your soul feel lonely?
Do you feel removed from the collective of joy, sadness, spirit?
Do you have a sense of longing to connect to a deeper thing?
If you do, you are not alone.
In fact, your recognition, like mine, brings us halfway to healing.
There.
What we can do to help, to headstart the healing, is simple.
Speak it. Say its name out loud.
Raise your hand.
Acknowledge your own sense of soul loneliness.
Press your attention into its truth and put words to it.
Tell another, “yes, I’ve felt that. That’s OK to feel.”
See yourself.
See them.
Then, turn toward feeding your soul first. Nourish first, always. Heap on love.
Connect outward, and seek the help of another who can bring skill, expertise and wisdom. All the while, holding love in your heart.
For you, for us.
As each soul is fed, we all are filled.